To older texters: This can read like yelling. Tip: Be aware of the fact that a period could inadvertently indicate a serious tone in your message. But if the message were written “Sounds good!” that message would read as positive because an exclamation point indicates a rising intonation.
As McCulloch puts it, “The falling intonation seems to undermine it,” especially for a younger reader. The period in the example "Sounds good." could indicate the opposite of what the words literally mean, because one’s voice typically goes down when reading a sentence that ends in a period. To younger texters: A period reinforces a negative connotation to a sentence, particularly with short sentences that stand alone.Įxplanation of difference: Multi-sentence messages don’t typically cause miscommunication, but “the real culprits" are short sentences or single-word replies, McCulloch says. To older texters: This is the natural way to end a sentence. It's a safer punctuation mark because it doesn't carry multiple meanings. So for now, do what feels right.Tip: Use a dash if you want to avoid sending a message that reads as passive-aggressive. In an ideal world, women wouldn’t have to bend themselves into shapes to make other people feel comfortable, but unfortunately we’re not there yet. Use them because you want to and you’re supporting patriarchal norms. Use them because you feel you have to and you’re not ~living your truth~. Use them too little and you’re seen as cold. Use them too much and you’re deemed unprofessional. When it comes to the exclamation point, there’s really no way to win. Like one of the women Tait talks to in her piece, I worry that using too many exclamation points makes me sound like “a breathless valley girl instead of a capable, confident woman.” So I’ll definitely throw in an exclamation point or three in those situations.īut it’s a fine line between enthusiastic and unprofessional. Tait writes, “If you texted your friend ‘Fancy dinner?’ and they replied ‘Sure.,’ you might be offended.” I find that to be completely true. But when corresponding with other women, I use exclamation points to convey actual enthusiasm or to be polite. Personally, when corresponding with a man, I rely on the exclamation point to act as a set of kid gloves that allow me to get my point across without seeming aggressive.
Basically, when you’re receiving written correspondence from a woman, a certain level of enthusiasm is expected. In a piece for the New Statesman last year, writer Amelia Tait explains that men have more room to appear unenthusiastic than women do. According to a 2012 study, women also use more emoticons and, according to a 2009 study, more lexical tools like capitalization and extra letters. But when I make the swap in writing, I feel like I sound aggressive and cold.Īccording to a 2006 study, women use exclamation points in their emails significantly more than men in an effort to appear friendlier. If I were to write those phrases as I’d actually say them, all of the exclamation points would become periods. And yet, phrases like “Thanks so much!,” “So nice to meet you!!,” and “Looking forward to working with you!!!” are peppered throughout my outbox.
#Exclamation mark text girl manual
According to the Chicago Manual of Style, they “should be used sparingly to be effective.” In my writing work, I live and die by that rule. And yet, if you were to read my email correspondence, I’m a bright ray of fking sunshine.Įxclamation points are intended to convey strong feelings, shouting, or show emphasis. I’m a generally happy person, but if you were to ask my friends and family to describe me, the word cheerful wouldn’t be in the mix. I don’t have one of those sunny dispositions that inspire musicals.
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